Not DAT eaSy!!!

for me, it is not that easy to confess to someone that u love him or her..
utk aku, aku sgt percayakan lumrah manusia utk jatuh cinta dan dicintai...
tp...
bila dia dtg pada masa yg tak sepatutnya dia dtg, bwt aku rasa nk pergi:

1st: tembak kepala dia

2nd: menjerit kat muka dia sekuatnya

3rd: nk bg tau satu dunia yg di tak patut mainkan perasaan orang..

hurmmm...
bukan ape...korang penah x rasa sakit hati...
bile org yg korang sayang dlu (dlu larhh...)tiba2 dtg n mula tagih kasih syg yg dh hilang tue..n benda nie jadi pada aku semalam...
"dia" tiba2 kol aku..
n ckp

"hello, fy ke?? i miss u dear!!"..
"(* dalam hati aku, ish...Bullsh**)...
"yes..nak ape??"
"i miss u ma dear.n i really hope we could be back together".

tanpa berfikir panjang, aku kumpulkan tenaga mula meninggikan suara aku..

"listen. for all this while, u've made me as such a stupid person n waiting for something that always remain unsure..especially bout our relationship before. n now u're coming back..n asking for me whether i love u or not. plisss...think twice bfore u say anything. i hate to make maself hating u..n in fact, to me u're just like ma brother...yeah..just a brother of mine. u dump me..n now u wanna ditch me back. do u think that im dat stupid???"....

................................
.....................................*silent...

"please fy..i love u.."...
"ok2..we make it like this. abg, plishh have a really deep thought on this. i hate to say this. but, i'm hanging up the phone yarh..."...."bye."....
"...*silent"...

all in all, aku sikit pown x rasa bersalah ckp mcm tue..biarkan dia...sbb selama nie, dye yg bwt aku terhegeh2 kat dia..n aku nk dia belajar hargai aku, n if bukan aku, perempuan lain la..
to me, benda dah lepas, biarkan lepas...
aku mmg terhutang budi dgn dia..
sbb dye larh yg inform aku yg aku dpt join TESL...
kalau x sebb dia, mungkin aku still kat uni mana2 ntah, dgn peluang keje yg x pasti lg..
for that, i thank you so much..
but to be back to u, it's a big NO from me..

n aku nk mintak maaf kat ma girlfriend..
aku x berniat nk bwt ko geram..
cuma aku geram ngn sikap ko, yg sumetimes agk kurang hormat dgn aku..
itu yg kdg2 aku kurang hormat pada ko..
itu je aku nk kau tau..
ada batas2 dlm bergurau dgn kwn2..
nway, aku doakan ko cepat sembuh...

amin....

Ya Allah, tenteramkan hatiku..permudahkan aku utk menempuh ujian akhir TESL...makbulkan doaku untuk dpat pergi ke UK..aminnn...